Dragon Doody-July 19th

Gee, I hope I don’t have too many fans, It has been a while since I last blogged. I blame my master for hogging blog time, her blog is completely updated but mine has been lingering. Alas, here I am and ready to comment on some Dragon Doody news stories that caught my attention this morning.

CRASH IT LIKE THE KOOL-AID MAN OOOOHHHH YEAH!

Justin Bieber’s name ends up in the news yet again. This time he was driving by a wedding party and over heard one of his dreadful songs being sung karaoke style. Obviously someone had been singing better than him (Not sounding like a chipmunk trapped in a blender) and he became a little irked. How dare some pre teen girl hog the spot light? Assuming it was a pre teen girl because I would be greatly disturbed  if an adult male had been singing Justin Bieber Karaoke. Justin stops his car and heads on in to the wedding all Kool Aid man style and all the pre teen lemmings go insane. KOOL AID…um I mean BIEBER! SQUEEEEE! But the biggest thing about this story is all the Pissed off Beliebers mad at some girl named Paige Conway. Paige happened to be at the wedding and boasted about it over twitter where jealous Beliebers snooped in to Paige’s Twitter and found her twitter feed from back in January stating that she was angry at Justin and pissed that Justin’s agents follow back some of his fans and how she was over Justin…you know NORMAL teen girl behaviour! Come on, anyone who knows a teen girl or who is a teen girl knows they are overly emotional and occasionally get mad at their crushes…sort of like the time my master threw darts at her crushs’ photos when she was 15 and royally pissed he had a GF (But she got over in within 2 days). Twitter had to endure Paige Conway trending and had to listen to a bunch of whiney babies complain and call her a fake Belieber. So thankyou Justin for Busting into a wedding all Kool-aid man style and thankyou Beliebers for continuaously giving me headaches. Also see Paige Conway’s twitter feed below.

Also “Beliebtards” Awesome word!

CANADA HAS SOME CRAAAAAZY WEATHER! BLAMES CLIMATE CHANGE!

Canadians, favorite passtime is complaining about the weather. We live, eat, breath the weather on a daily basis. Out tweets always begin with the weather, our facebook statuses are about the weather and they get many weather related comments. So when bad weather hits, Experts blame Climate change. Yes I’m talking about the Ottawa Blue’s fest stage that blew over on Sunday night. It happened in Ottawa therefore climate change is to blame. Why? Because night time has been hotter than previous years. Yes of course it is, that’s what occurs when you have a heat wave with no thunderstorms! If anything we should see MORE storms but noooo barely anything to cool us all off which by the way all us cental Canadians (Most from Ontario and Quebec) are crying over a little heat! Honestly the weather in Canada this year hasn’t even measured up to last year, we have yet to see many tornadoes where as last year we had like 10 in one day. Candadians should not complain, after all, when was the last time a town got flattened by a tornado? Sure we’ve had some floods and fires but at least there was enough warning to hightail it out of town. So my oppinion on the Climate change issiue is yes, climate changes all the time. Big deal. And if this is signs that the world is going to end in 2012, then the earth can do much, much better than that. Suck it up butter cups! Us Canadians should get back to complaining about more important things like Hockey.

“Geee I wonder how this happened”

5 BAAAAAAD PROTEINS

The health and environment nut jobs are at it again. This time telling us which foods to avoid. Face it, everything we eat is too fat, high in salt, carcinogenic and bad for the environment. Humans are bad for the environment which is why as a dragon I do my civic duty and eat people. So what is on the black list this time? Lamb, Beef, Cheese, pork and Farmed salmon. Ok Farmed Salmon is acceptable because it tastes like crap! But Lamb? Beef? Cheese? and Pork? All those yummy things? Bad protiens? Not fair. Apparently farming these things or manufacturing them is bad for the environment and eating too much of them is bad for the heath. This might explain why I’m obese and probably explains North America’s Obesity issue. Too many lamb chops, too many burgers…get out there and eat those chickens because Chicken farms are great for the health! Fried Chicken is an ok protein so gobble up! If said news article will change anyone’s eating habits I 100% recomend eating Stray cats and rabbits and Canadian Geese and seagulls because there are waaaaay too many of each out there. I also think there is a Road kill cookbook somewhere online where it gives a raccoon Shishkebob recipe, this might particularily come in handy in Toronto where residents face a coon epidemic. Try fried squirell lately? I heard it’s yummy and those critters are everywhere. So happy eats everyone. Don’t forget to boycott Beef.

THEM GOSH DARN GUN TOTTIN’ REDNECKS!

There’s this article about this woman who shoots and kills her husband while aiming at a puppy…know what? I’m just going to post the whole article:

JACKSON, Miss. – Police in Mississippi say a woman opened fire on a puppy that had threatened children, but wound up shooting and killing her husband.

Witnesses tell police that the pit bull named “Cocaine” had lunged at some children and tried to attack them on Friday. The dead man’s son says the children were taken inside and his father picked the dog up.

It was then that police say Betty Walker fired twice, hitting the dog once and her husband once in the chest. Jackson police spokeswoman Colendula Green says the death of 53-year-old Robert Walker appears to have been accidental.

She says a Hinds County grand jury will decide whether to charge Betty Walker.

Animal control officers have taken the dog, and its owner could face charges.

-One less gun tottin red neck and the dog is completely fine.-

ZOMBIE PROOF

Someone actually created a zombie proof house. Complete with a draw bridge and it can cover ALL entrances and windows! The house can completely be sealed off and better yet, it’s luxurious inside. The person who will be responsible fr a zombie outbreak is probably the person who had the house built…this is my suspicions anyway. If you are certain a Zombie appocalypse will occur OF COURSE your going to create a safe house. Take a look at some of the pictures.

To see all the pictures of this awesome house here is the link:  http://ca.shine.yahoo.com/photos/a-zombie-safe-home-really–1310745805-slideshow/

That’s all folks. Hope you all enjoyed. Keep on Geeking…and send me loot!

 

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About Goslin Disasters

Bringing you news on my life disasters as well as weather, Christianity, Philanthropy, My adventures in being an Avon Rep, Geeky things and pretty much whatever I feel like blogging about. I am married to my geek in shining armor, we have a daughter, 3 cats and a German Shepherd...you know what the animal total keeps adding up so just stay tuned to what our zoo has. Once a city girl now making it big in a small town...a very small town. Keep on Geeking!
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